The end of the day, still have dinner to cook? The house is a wreck and the look on his face…..must have been a bad day at work. A chicken just ran through the house because you had both doors open. If someone were to show up now, you might just have to duck and cover. The chaos in the house we usually don’t want anyone to know about. We hide it best we can. Plastering a smile out in public, pretending we have it all figured out. If they only knew I just shoved all the dirty clothes in the drier, or that I actually cut an onion and put in a pan of butter, so it would look like I knew what’s for dinner.
Have you done this at your house? Do you ever have a conversation out in public and realize….oh my spouse didn’t tell me he had invited people over from work…I just heard about it while filling up with gas……
These busy lives we lead. Coming and going can leave us feeling disconnected! Sometimes we even get so disconnected that pretty soon, our lives can turn into one big chore and the house is just where we both reside. This may be true especially if you have children. Doesn’t matter the ages. If they’re little, late nights, feedings, endless colic, or teething. If they’re in school….running back and forth to activities and homework. Adolescence…..drivers license relieve some of the pressure and the mileage on the truck but how do we reconnect?
How do we value the relationship between husband and wife? Is there something we can do to reconnect and stay on point in our relationship? This relationship, that whether we realize it or not the kids are watching. The relationship of how to treat another human being. How can we show our spouse and our kids how much we value this thing we call “marriage”?This bond that we had before we had midnight feedings and misunderstandings about schedules. The bond that brought us together and keeps us strong.
We heard about it several years ago, and some of you will know the moment I say it……COUCH TIME! The class we were in was called, Growing Kids God’s Way. Week after week we met, a group of us, maybe ten couple. We popped in a video, yes it was before dvd’s…. had a discussion, and practice on our kids throughout the week. This couple we watched,  “Old Fashioned”,  the missing element we’ve gotten away from these days. Then one day during the class, we heard the words “couch time” and have never forgotten.
Here’s how it works:
- Each evening when you and your spouse get home, you spend a short amount of time reconnecting. 10 mins. is what we had designated.Â
- Designate a place, it doesn’t have to be the couch. Pick a place where you can sit and look into each other’s eyes, and no multi-tasking. No distractions, it only for a short time.
- Small kids can be occupied with toys on the floor or if they are a little older they can go and play for uninterrupted mommy and daddy time. Our boys would even pop in from time to time when we first started and ask…”Is it still couch time?” , to which we responded, “yes”, we will let you know when we are done.
- At first we set the timer so they knew when it was over. They acted like it was a game at times, heck we didn’t mind, it gave us time to say, “hello, nice to see you.” It gave us those first moments at the end of the day to reconnect. Ten minutes, that’s all you might say? It doesn’t mean that’s all your allowed to talk to each other, it means , “I’m all yours for right now….” I may look a mess, have a giant headache from all the crap I heard today, but my schedule is not the enemy, my spouse is not the enemy, lets get on the same page and go from here.
“Couch Time” What a concept, what a ridiculous concept, you may say, but try it…..it may be the ten minutes of sanity your marriage needs.
The question early….”Can 10 Minutes A Day Save My Marriage”…..I’m not saying it’s the solve all for all problems, it’s not! If you’re struggling with a hectic schedule it might just work!
“Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.” Be up for loving your spouse as your neighbor. Mark 12:30-31.  Be up for showing your kids the love you have for your husband or wife. Show them the value of love and the respect of another ones times and attention.
Do you find it hard to reconnect at the end of the day? What do you think of implementing a little couch time into your marriage?
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