Why did I say, “YES”? It was Sunday night and we had just come off a busy weekend. Our arena team did a ranch cutting, Wendel had a wedding, my boys were both home at the same time, and my nephew and son’s girlfriend came for a visit. All good things. What a great time we had at the cutting, the boys and I were the turn back help for dad. The wedding went well . Getting to spend time with my family, just makes my heart leap, but up to this point it had been limited. A young man approached me at church, he wanted to come out and visit Sunday night. By the sound of his voice, I thought he might have a real emergency. He no longer lives in the area, so I told him to come out that evening. We made a few adjustments, he came out and here’s where it went downhill . In the first 36 hours since my oldest son had gotten home, we had spent about thirty minutes visiting with our boys, the rest had been a hurried schedule of events. I wanted so badly just to be with my family, and even though we like the young man that was in our home, why did I say yes? I longed to get caught up with my guys, you know the way you do with family when no one else is around.
Then the phone rang….
“Don’t take the call, let the machine get it”, I thought. ….to late, DARN! The look on his face said, it’s important, as he went to the other room. When he came back, I knew I couldn’t ask what was wrong in front of anyone, so I decided to wait until later to ask.
Does your gut ever just suddenly drop? Mine did, I would have to fake like I was good company! How could I politely end this visit without hurting the young man’s feelings? Honestly, if there was a rewind button, I would have push it by now. The rest of the evening went slowly, but this was not anyones fault but our own. The young man was certainly not to blame, he just wanted to visit, no crisis here. The phone call was important but nothing that could not have waited . So what’s the point?
My man and I had sacrificed the family for someone or something else. Now before I get hate mail about how being in the ministry means you always have to be available, I can’t think of anything else to say except……..”WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKIN’?” There’s nothing further from the truth.
I am no different than you, but I bet you have been there too. Just one more hour at work, my family will understand. Just one more phone call and then I will sit down for dinner. Maybe we can spend time together this next weekend. I am the only one that can do it. These one more things and one more yeses can get you into all kinds of messes! Obviously this wasn’t the only time we had spread ourselves a little thin. There’s no doubt that if someone needed my husband or myself that we wouldn’t drop everything and be there. I am sure you would do the same thing. Like I said, the weekend was amazing up until the last two “yeses”. The tone in our home suddenly changed and our whole family was affected. It all could have been avoided by doing the following………….
How do you know when to say “yes”? Ask yourself these questions
- Is it an emergency? These would be things like someone’s immediate life depends on it. They are on there way to the hospital. Someone has died. Someone is extremely depressed. A good friend is in a bind. Someone is stranded and you are the only one that can help. Or you feel a deep urgency to help. Go immediately!!! There should be no question about emergencies.
- Have I said, “yes”, to someone else? Do a mental checklist or better yet, check your calendar. Schedule family time and stick to it. When you kids get older, the times you get together become fewer and fewer. Saying “no”, to someone, means you are saying “yes” to something else. That something else might be a date night with your spouse, a game night with the kids, or a long, overdue nap.
- And finally, one of the most important ones……do I need rest? Nobody is superman or supermom. No one is physically able to do it all and sometimes when we are tired from let’s say, a unusually busy weekend, it’s best to decline. When our bodies are run down we are more likely to make poor decisions. Think before you say “yes”, if it’s something you have to answer immediately than more than likely the answer is “no”. Take a nap, get a good meal, and then you will be better equipped to make a better choice.
Remember to love God, love your family and love your neighbor. Saying “yes”, to the right things is important. Please leave a comment below and tell me about some of your “yes” messes. I would love to hear from you.
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